Freshwater Shrimps – Scuds – Gammarus pulex

I need lyrics or some place i can find a song that has the following in it: a simile( comparing 2 things using like or as ex. he look like a dog), metaphor (comparing to unlike things not using like or as ex. he is a dog)personification ( giving a non human thing human traits ex. watch my life pass me by), hyperbole (extreme exaggeration ex. my mom is gon 2 kill me 4 my report card), onomatopoeia(when a word mean what it sounds like ex. CLICK), alliteration( repeating of begining sounds ex. Pretty Polly picked pears for preserves, notice how they ryhme) oxymoron(like saying pretty ugly, or jumbo shrimp u noe), internal ryhme( when 2 words ryhme inside a line of poetry), and end ryhme(words at the end of the line or poetry ryhme) ok so i dont need ALL of these to be in the song but at least6 or 7 of them plz! and the song cannot promote sex,drugs, killing or anything like that! THIS IS 4 REAL! I REALLY NEED HELP FINDING THIS!